Wow.. so after continuous working non stop for a few days I have accumulated some money to get some things cleared away, like paying for car insurance. I'm also giving my mother 200$ a month for the next 5 months, and then its all paid for. :D yay! I think I'm starting a new job in the kitchen on base, I was told I have the job I just need to wait on the details. I hate waiting. But anyways. 15.45$ an hour I think. And the pay is in the week opposite to the one i get now so now i'll get like paid every week!!!! :D :D :D Finally. I feel like I'm bragging but I don't mean too, I'm just excited positive things are happening in my life. Its new.
Coray

Well the weekend has gone by and now it is another week of work work work, then a weekend of anime and another week of work work work, and drive drive driving!!! :D :D :D
My weekend wasn't the greatest but it was still fun. I got my drink on after a long week of work. I didn't drink much Friday night but my head was killing me when I woke up on Saturday so I commenced the drinking process at like 1:30 pm and was buzzed/drunk all day. It was fucking great, I need to do that more often. Then Sunday I cleaned up the hotel room a little and then my mom picked me up and we went out to lunch and then to le grocery store.
Ugh, I worked all day today. I started at like 7 30 and worked until 3 30 and then went to D59 and worked until 5 for the contruction clean up i've been doing, and then I went to F6 to work a function until like 8 30. Oi vey. Tomorrow its work from 7 30 until 8 at night. Oi.
Corey

Well another day completed at work. Pay day was today, all my bills are paid, even that nasty ambulance bill I stubbornly refused to pay 2 years ago. I think that officially makes me debt free. YAY. Put 300 dollars towards the car and car insurance. I'm working lots of hours this pay period doing extra cleaning so I can make more money. I don't get to have much of a life with all this working but it's going to make the future more prosper. I fucking love it, I'm letting this bird out of the cage. RAWR! Who knows with all this work im doing in my part time job I could get into kitchens making 15 something an hour. HOT!
Corey

So my birthday sucked. All my friends were working, or didn't get off until 11 at night. Then Daren had to go pick David up, pick his brother up and take him and his other brother home. Why he picked up David, I don't know. It's not like we were planning to go to the bar or anything. He didn't get back to the hotel until like 1230ish. So after me whinning for a bit we got to the bar around 1am. Danced around a little, was rather bored. Someone was there stinking the place up and Daren was blondly telling me this while the person was standing right beside me. HAHA. So we stayed up all night hanging out with James, Jere and David, and then Daren invited Peter over to hang out with him. Peter smoked all my weed and then spent all night alone in a room with David. What a waste of a night. My birthday always sucks. Someone always pisses me off.
One of the most important people in my life hasn't even fucking clued in that he hasnt said happy birthday or anything. No names mentioned. Maybe he will get the hint after he sniffs another line of coke. Bonne fete a moi. Pft.
Corey

Well, I don't really write much anymore, everytime I start to I just close the window. I'm 22 now, and my life has been on hold it seems for the last few years. I've done nothing to further myself in life, these walls I've surrounded myself with stand in the way. My life mainly consists of me working and then coming home and lazing around doing nothing but feel sorry for myself and wish it was the left side of the car that got struck two years ago, not the right. Will I ever get over this empty feeling I have? I feel like my heart's been broken into a million peices.
I have my friends who all have their own lives, all of us standing still in life but now it seems like all of us are about to encounter some life changing experiences. To others it might seem like nothing, but driving again is a big step for me. I have horrible anxiety when I'm in the passenger side of a car. I don't know if I'll be able to take the wheel, but I can't let this stupid anxiety control my life. That's my role. I want to be in charge of my life. I get paid a lot of money tomorrow. Hopefully most of it will go towards car insurance, i only have to pay like 2010 dollars a year, which is around 170 a month. Having my own car opens a world of possibilities for me. As I'm writting this all it's becoming more clear that I have to do this. I have to start living again. I can't be an anti social hermit who lives in their mothers basement for ever.

I wish that I could be like I was before
I was ridin' high but now I'm feelin so low
I wish that you could make my world feel better
And take away the hurt so I won't be so far gone
hilary duff - I wish

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
OMG i have so much anime to watch. i totally forgot about ouran high school host club and le noir!!!

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
outch

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
and i have all the sailor moon mangas :P and the episodes are downloading :P

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
ha ha

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
OMG i need to download the inuyasha mangas!!!

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
Jamie is looking for Sailor Moon on DVD

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
you're gonna download them?

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
i dont think its out on dvd. well some of it is but i think its only up to sailor moon s. cause its something i want :P

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
ah I see

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
the episodes are pretty much the same though

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
like...bam there's a monster...bam sailor moon attacks

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
or defends...which ever

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
there's story and plot!!!!

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
I know

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
but most of the episodes have the same structure

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
i cant believe you would say things like this to me daren. do you know what your talking about! sailor moon!!! SAILOR MOON!

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
:o

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
ok...

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight. never running from a real fight SHE IS THE ONE NAMED SAILOR MOON!!!!!

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
LOL

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
ok?

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
well anyways

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
maybe there's a hidden episode lol ?

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
all this means nothing to you? Not even the fact that she will never turn her back on a friend, and that she is always there to defend. She is the one on whom we can depend DAREN!!!! she is the one named SAILOR MOON!!!!!!

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
or I watched the same episode over and over

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
:s
Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
whatever lol

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
probably it took forever for them to actually release new episodes and eventually the series had to much gay stuff in it for them to edit out

Ledox - Stoopid day! End now! says:
you're gay

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
ecspecially the last season. 3 sailor scouts from a different solar system that can change their sexes! females in soilder form. males in human form complete with removeable breasts and attatchable penises. CAN U JUST IMAGINE THE ACTION FIGURES THESE FREAKS WOULD HAVE PRODUCED TO SCARE THE CHILDREN OF AMERICA!!!! removeable tittys????

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
im not even going to mention how sailor moon was all hot and heavy for Sailor Uranus.... until she realized that Uranus is not a pretty boy, she is a butch dyke!!!! and that green haired girl NEPTUNE!!! is not her cousin as the americans think. its her dyky lover

corayyy [ you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying baby.] you'll never hurt me again says:
well i guess i did mention :P

Well it's been awhile since I've updated. Well lets see, the non smoking made me gain ten pounds, so I'm smoking again. I don't give a shit right now about it, because I'd rather be thin, until I can figure out a way to revamp my eating habits, then I'll quit. It wasn't hard to not smoke I just got super depressed because I was getting fat and couldn't stop eating. Not to mention the past two months have been rather exhausting and depressing. So many of my friends have been having so many problems lately, I almost feel guilty because for once in my life I can say, I'm Ok. The only thing that saddens me is that I can't make everything ok in everyone's life.

I've started to cut back on my partying ways. I've gotten rather bored of it. I don't go out to the bar as much, but when I don't Daren gets all mopey because he doesn't like to be alone. Ever. I want to save money so I can be able to further myself in life, and going out every weekend and getting trashed just doesn't help. It's just hard to change a routine because you get use to it.

Andrew came back into my life. His girlfriend broke up with him. I don't know exactly how I feel about it. I love having him around, I love talking to him on the phone. He tells me he's sorry about everything thats happened, but sometimes I worry that history will repeat itself. I can't handle being tossed aside like last weeks trash again. It hurt to much the first time. But as people we've grown and well he doesn't have a girlfriend thats jealous of our friendship in his life anymore. He was really depressed a few weeks ago but it seems like hes getting better, which is good, one less friend of mine to be so sad. Now to fix Daren, Fred, Erik, Nadia, Annie... the list could go on. My hearts out for all these people in hopes that they get out of their slumps and feel a bit better. It's the Christmas season for fuck sakes. Be happy and grab some hoe hoe hoes! :D

Corey

Well it's been awhile since I've written. Still not smoking which is good, I did have a day of menthols but I'm back to not smoking. So minus the one day of smoking, its been a whole month of no smoking. RAWR. People have asked me if I notice a difference in my health, yes I do. I also notice I have an insane appetite. I really need to stop eating like such a fat ass. My metabolism will only work for so long.
I started working at the kitchen full time. That has been fun, everyone loves me so far.

I met some new friends whilst in Fredericton. About two weeks ago while Daren was doing his regular after bar tasks of getting food at the tannery, some random guy high on ecstasy came up to us and started talking to us, and this is how I met my new friend Adam. Through Adam I met his friend Gaston, who I haven't really talked to a lot since I've met him, but I talk to Adam a lot. Anyways, yay new friends. It's about time I get out of this anti social rut I've been in for the past two years. It's hard to believe two years have gone by. Fuuuck.

I bought an external hard drive to celebrate my non smoking. 200 dollars later I now have a 250 gb external. RAWR! I copied my whole computer onto it and then wiped my whole computer clean. Now it runs so much faster. I love it. AND I GET TO KEEP ALL MY ANIME!!! :D

Corey. <3

Another day at work. Gah, I can't wait until Friday. I'm getting exhausted, I'm hoping Carolynn wants to come back to work for Friday because I need to sleep in for a change, and now that I'm not smoking and not using the patch either my sleeping patterns seems to be going back to normal. I hope. God, I feel like crap when I'm tired. But I just read Eriks msn name and it made me smile. So kawaii. :p
I went tanning today and now my face is all red... Note To Self: Dont go in for 12 minutes after going 3 weeks without tanning.
I also got my hair cut and now look even more like a boy. Holy fuck, she totally gave me an army like hair cut. It's gross, and half of my head is my natural hair color and the rest is my dyed blonde hair. Oh well.
Coreyyy!

Oh wow what a day it has been. Last night I went to bed around 1030 and tried to read, but I couldn't stop thinking so reading was pointless, so I tried sleeping. That didn't work either. I spent about 3 or 4 hours tossing and turning until I fell asleep around 2am maybe, then I woke up at 6 to get ready for work for 7 until 230 today, then I remembered I had more work to do at 4 until 9 30. Oh god. It has been such a long day, but at least I haven't had a smoke! I haven't had a smoke since October 4th at 3pm. The side effects suck though. I seriously am going through some weird emotions in the last few days. I'm either really depressed, or really angry when I get mad, but I'm learning to cope without running to a cigarette and throwing all I've accomplished so far out the window. BAH! GO AWAY EVIL CIGARETTES. Not to mention I stopped using my patch but I should be clear of nicotine in my system by tomorrow maybe, or the day after. Anyways.
I barely got to talk to Erik today. Je suis sad :( <3
Time to go to bed and read and then pass out. *thumbs up!*
Corey <3

Thanksgiving to me is a time to reflect on things we are thankful for, in our society I don't we take the time to give thanks for those things we are truly thankful for. So I write today to reflect on the things in which I am thankful . I'm thankful for the friends and family who have stayed by my side through my hard times, and through the good times aswell. No matter how hard I try to isolate myself from everyone you have all stayed by my side and I am glad you have all let deal with my pain in my own way. The last two years have taught me some wonderful lessons in life, ones I wish I can use to better someone elses life in the future. I'm thankful for the courage and strength to get off the chemicals I have finally been able to muster up due to a combination of self respect and love and courage others have shown me. I'm thankful that I have started to regain my sense of self, and have finally stopped hating myself. But most of all I am thankful to be alive. I'm alive for a reason. The powers that have created all of our existances want me alive, for a reason unknown to me at the time, but I think we all have a purpose in life to fufill until we are called upon in our deaths. I don't know what my purpose is but I am here to live life to the fullest because not all of us are given that chance and are taken away before we think it is our time. I never realized I had all these things in my life and I am truly thankful. Thank you whoever has given me these things and for allowing me to finally open my eyes and see.
Corey Joseph Green

So, upon reading my LJ friends list today, I have discovered a real life update from Nicole and that has inspired me to do one aswell. YAY! I'm such a fag. :P

So for the past four weeks I have been trying my hardest not to do any ecstasy. Although I let a friend convinced me to do it last weekend with her because she wanted to relive the past a bit and go out and have fun all fucked up on E. So we did E on Friday, and Saturday. And I realized that I have done it so much in the last two years that I barely even get high, where for her, she hadn't done it in 7 months and was fucked out of her tree. Which gives me more reason not to do it anymore. Such a waste of money. I'm glad I didn't have fun though, because last time I tried quitting and went 4 weeks without E I got super fucked up and had the time of my life and pushed my wanting of stoping my e usage to the back of my head. A lot of time has passed in the last two years and I feel like I have barely accomplished anything, I'm still enjoying that supposed "one year off" from school I was going to take. But school has been on my mind a lot lately, so at least I'm one step closer to eventually going. Figuring out what I want to do, is the hard part. I should go see a psychic and have her or him tell me :P hehe.

Work work work. I'm glad I've been working pretty much non stop since April, and I do enjoy having every weekend off. I hate, hate, hate, hate working weekends. Tis why I love my job, and why all my friends are jealous! I get moved to the kitchen on October 16th. I rather work in the barracks though, I don't have to deal with anyone I just go in and do my thing and then leave. Everyone that lives in the barracks are usually gone by like 7 30 or 8 am and they don't come home until like 3 or 4, but I don't mind the kitchen, plus I'm slowly coming out of my shell of anxiousness. If people don't like me, I dont give a fuck, that'll just give me more reason to be 100 percent me around them so I can annoy the fucking shit out of them :D. RAWR!

Smoking, it's such a constant battle for me to quit. I've been trying since I started smoking! I'm on the patch right now, I shall see how this works. I tell ya, I try quitting like every other day. But I haven't had a smoke for 26 hours now, and I'm going good. Plus I'm not bitchy. GOD BLESS THIS PATCH! :D I turn into my mother when I'm suffering the lack of nicotine. It's not pretty.
Well I ran out of things to write about, I guess this turned into a half real life update as I'm getting bored of writting.:P I shall update some more later...maybe?
Corayyy! <3

Here it is, a Sunday morning and I haven't left the house this whole weekend. GO ME! I'm proud of myself for not going out as much. I've been occupying my time with kyou kara maou! Its so fabulous! I LOVE IT! Although I'm running out of episdoes and they don't make it anymore. GAH! Must find new hobby...I think I will read some of my novel today. I've put it off this last week.
My nephew comes home on Friday, I took off Friday so I could go to the air port, if I somehow am not able to go I'm going to be mad. I'm pretty sure my cousin is going so I should be able to go with her or with my aunt, cause I think she is going too. This week is going to be an easy one! :D I get to do floors all week, minus Thursday because then I'm doing h-33 the kitchen, which pisses me off, but oh well. Well. Time to go eat breakfast. :D
Corey

So the diet plans have yet to kick in as I was a total fat ass today. Munchies galore. I need to listen to Jenny. She lectures me on my bad eating habits. Must be healthy. FUUUCK. :P I shall get there soon. I should buy some patches soon. :S Birthday bash for Nadia tomorrow. I shall make sure I'm good and rested so I can get good and drunk tomorrow night. :D woot!
Corey

So the diet failed a little. Actually it went completely down the drain. What was I thinking? NO CARBS? I LOOOOVE CARBS. Must figure out some other loose weight qucik diet plan. There is this cabbage soup one, I shall get the stuff I need for this concoction and get slimmer! :D I think once I'm finished my diet or when I start it that I will quit smoking at the same time. Then I can loose weight and not be smoking and get fat. Again. Hahaha
Corey

Well. I feel like I'm turning back into myself. Slowly but surely. I've been a hyper little squirrel all week. Maybe it's the coffee? Who knows. I'm attempting a diet starting tomorrow. Carb cycling. I'm trying to loose 20 pounds. Let's see how much I can shed! Oh well. At least theres foods I enjoy without carbs. Thank you Jebus.
Work this week has been fun. Rhonda is hilarious. I love newfies. Louise is great too, she think's I'm a wonderful dancer. FABULOUS! I'm bored. Time to go bug sexy Erik.
CoRay!

Well this weekend has been a fun one. I didn't go out to Fredericton this weekend. On Friday I watched some Kyou Kara Maou, talked to Erik over Skype and read some "An Interview With The Vampire." Yesterday I spent the morning lounging around and then I eventually got showered and dressed so I could go to a wedding. The wedding was nice although the screaming children annoyed the hell out of me. Once the wedding ceremony was done, me, my aunt Kim, my cousin Jennie and her boyfriend Brian went to mcdonalds and then we made our way to Sherry's house and had a few drinks and then went to the reception. I was good and drunk when we got there and continued to drink until about 12 30 am. A fight broke out between some girls. I was in the center of it pushing the fighting girls away from each other. Then I got to give a statement to a cop. Then I came home and went to sleep. Fun times. I was going to go out last night with some people from the wedding party but I misunderstood thinking we were going out last night but I think we are going out on Friday night. But I'm glad I didn't go out last night. Nadia's birthday is this Thursday and I figured we'd be going out on Friday to celebrate but it looks like were going out on Saturday night. I'm trying to take a break from my clubbing but I have to be there for Nadia's birthday. I'll just have to get someone to hold onto my money so I don't spend it impulsively. I'm hoping I can manage to save some money from this pay. *crosses fingers*
Coray

I'm gonna keep on
I'm a gonna do my own thing
We've all got a song we're meant to sing
No matter what people say or might think
I ain't going no place, no I'm here to stay
Gonna keep on doing my thing
'Cause whether they love or they hatin' on me
I'll still be the same girl I used to be
'Cause I ain't going no place,
No I'm here to stay</>

Well I haven't written in awhile, mostly because I'm ashamed of my life and the way I've been living it. It's true I am ashamed. I hate myself for who I've become but I love myself entirely because I know I have the power in me to change. I don't think it's to late to turn my life around, and thats what I am working on doing. It's hard, extremely difficult. Alone I take on the world.